Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
