i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
