Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
