I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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