Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
