I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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