I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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