sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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