$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
When are your genitals available?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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