I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
