i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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