We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
