i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
