his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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