we have officially lost it.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
