.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He passed out mid-signature
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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