I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
