theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
