I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
