At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
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