Me. At least after what I've been through.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I am available for nakedness
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
