Taylor Swift is so right about you.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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