Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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