i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
