two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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