All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
