my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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