I think I died a long time ago.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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