actually, I'm a sock model
its not stalking. its research.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Randomize
