All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Send help, water and tortillas.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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