I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
