A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
