Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
