how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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