Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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