Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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