somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
