You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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