I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
