So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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