It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
