So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
