Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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