She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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