Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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