So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
