just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
