When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
