It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i dont even know how to be here
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
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