I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
