He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
